I Feel Your Pain:

by Scott Cole   Aug 13, 2017


Tonight I'm at a ponder
My mind is in a frenzy,
My head spinning about
My brain is feeling dizzy.

I feel the pain your feeling
Know what you're going through,
Wish I could dry your eyes
But I'm fresh out of tissues.

But I did, I tried to tell you
The leap would bring bad news,
But you just wouldn't listen
So now I also feel your bruise.

Your tears are driving me crazy
And I don't know what to do,
If only you had believed me
Then we wouldn't be this blue.

For you're my heart and soul
And I care so much for you,
But now my hands are tied
And it's nothing I can undo.

If I could remove your misery
I would do it in a second,
Cause your hurt is hurting me
And it doesn't feel pleasant.

Oh my poor broken heart
That breaks inside my chest,
We're both in this together
So tonight, neither of us will rest.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    This is an interesting piece, and I like how you're playing around with rhymes.

    Just an observation: I feel you sometimes add words in lines that don't really need to be there other than to serve the rhythm. Most of these are 'And's at the starts or lines, but I think if play around with some of those lines - or probably more accurately: give it some thought for future works - you may be able to cut out some of those lesser interesting words, and pack the line with even more oomph.

    Also, for me personally, the last line felt awkward. One, because it's a double negative, and two because of the structuring of the line, though of course, maybe that was in fact you intention.

  • 8 years ago

    by Kereen

    Beautiful I love how it flows. Just carries your emotions

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