You know me

What do you see when you look at me?
My eyes, the brown and green blending together
My lips and how they curve
My smile, big and toothy making my cheeks move up
You hear my laugh
You hear my side
Our logic and humor is the same

What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see the tears beneath the surface?
Waiting for one wrong word, a wrong look
Do you see the tremble in my lips?
All the words held back so I'm not too much
How about the end of my smile?
The time it takes to fade,
The hollow empty meaning behind it in the first place

Love blinds you
You know me
But not as a lover
Not the anxiety riddled scarred me
Not the angry me that lashes out unprovoked
The me that's hard to love

You don't know the depth of my self-hatred
Or the length of wrongs I've done
You say you're scared
But you haven't even seen me yet