Love Letter to Myself

There's only so many ways you can say that lonely tastes bad
But I get it,
Sometimes you get those real bad tastes in your mouth...
resin hits chased by desperate washed down with too-weak beer
I've sat for two weeks here
And held statue-still
thinking if I didn't change my face or the color of my hair
for once you might start to understand
How completely my world stopped when the door hit you on the way out
I need a way. out.
I'm three days away from...
I'm three days away.
From.

I've got dry mouth on top of cotton mouth on top of
trying to rip the words from my
Mouth
trying to keep them somewhere I can look in,
stalker-eyed like affection was some kind of
collection
Collected by those not skillful enough to make conversation
I've got hesitation pin-pricking my fingertips
As if fear was something that could be measured
like blood sugar
There's something in my blood, sugar,
you have got to see this
It's been keeping time with the shape my lips are making
and it's all starting to look a lot like you.

Someone hit the brakes on my engine.
There's a wrench in the gear of me moving forward.
Like crawling forward in sixth,
I didn't have the momentum to carry me as far as my aspirations had hoped
I got roped into carrying the weight of the life I'd resigned myself to.
Never realized I could have just let it go.
I have got to let this go.

So go.

I'm three bad days away from...
I'm three bad days away.
From,
you.