Interlude: Genuine Human Connection

by Elizabeth   Feb 19, 2018

Suddenly, life.
Suddenly, trying to find a way to pass the time without you.
Since I found myself casually tossed back into a city that eats dreams like pre-diabetic children inhale candy.
Suddenly I can't remember the taste of your name.
Suddenly it's been far too long since you were close enough to reach
Suddenly week after monotonous week slips by, unnoticed
Somehow, suddenly fifteen weeks and every morning
Having staring contests with myself in the dirty subway window
Wishing I hadn't accidentally made eye contact with everyone
Including my reflection.
Watching abstract shafts of light slide across the windows diffused by frost and filth
Far too early for courtesy
To paint the passengers' faces happy
And even the sun is just begging for a reason to call in sick.

Most days slip silently, calmly into the abyss
Guilty only of the crime of being forgettable.
Have you forgotten me yet?
Because even time can't keep you off my mind
I want to waste some of your time...
But no one wants to waste an afternoon on conversation anymore.
Talk has always been cheap but still we outsourced the work
Decades ago with abbreviations and emojis
You must know, there is nothing sweeter than the sound of your voice
I've been listening for it in all of the places you'd never be
I've been searching all the wrong places because I need a physical metaphor
For the feeling of not being able to reach you or anyone else for that matter.
For the feeling of hopelessness in the face of unforeseeable obstacles.
For the ultimate uselessness of pushing forward without reason or desire.
We've pushed too many skeletons into a closet too packed to hold them.

This isn't a single thing anymore,
We are never alone.
The world is all interconnected and
it's all gotten too big too fast
For us to keep up with the bright lights.
Overcrowding has kept us
Too close and too closed in for too long.

I've spent countless hours sardined in train cars
With no room to breathe, to exist.
I'm surrounded by thousands of people every single day
And I'm miserably lonely because none of them are you.

I wanted to be able to finish up with a profound comment about
Genuine human connection.
Or maybe just about the way I feel when I see you.
But there's a lot of work between me and an early morning
And I just can't give it the proper attention that it deserves.
I was wondering, if you're willing to be a little patient,
could I maybe take a rain check?


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Elizabeth, as always you put it right out there. I feel your loss, I feel your pain and trying to navigate a life without this person in it. I feel your need to connect, really with anyone but in doing so would drain what little stored energy you have right now, plus they aren't this lost love. Well done with this-

  • 2 years ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Wow Elizabeth ... there are so many profound statements here, both about society in general, and about your lost love. I'm not a massive fan of free verse ... even when I try and write it myself ... but this ... I get it ... it's as simple as it is complex and it's so relateable ... especially this ...

    "But no one wants to waste an afternoon on conversation anymore.
    Talk has always been cheap but still we outsourced the work
    Decades ago with abbreviations and emojis"

    I'm adding it to my faves and I hope it picks up a nomination. Excellent! :-) x

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