It was born
when I drowned completely in your
oceanic eyes, and
stupidity started calling me a
fool among the insane;
when I started
listening to 'summertime sadness'
even in the happy times, and
I had forgotten my sleep
while remembering your name.
It bloomed when I read
the definition of love hidden behind
the lipstick on your lips
and traveled between pen and paper,
the ink of your thoughts never ran dry;
when there was no space left between
my melancholy and your bliss, and
I loved to fall into your chocolatey dreams
even during the vanilla sky.
It began to wither
when petals of our relationship
covered with egoistic hives,
and roots of trust between us
poisoned with our own sweet lies;
when there was no potion of feelings left
on the branches of our lives, and
the essence of romance faded out
from our smile.
In the end, I found out
love wasn't the thing portrayed in the poems
the sound of love could turn
a beautiful dream into a nightmare.
In the end, I realized
-love happens when two imperfect people
meet each other
on the path of destiny,
and pass out the fragrance of emotions
onto each other's soul-
Judging Comment - Vanilla sky by sinners gospel points 10 - This is just so full of beautiful imagery and moved me very much as it shows love in my opinion in a completely different way to which as ever been described before, powerful stuff.
This is one of the poem I shall never forget. A journey of love it takes us to. At first, it looks like, you have portrayed it according to the theme of the original movie. So, I have seen the movie, but this doesn't look related to the movie.
Theme is obvious, love, as it is in most of your poems.
First, three stanzas shows the journey of love but along with the analogy. You compared love to a flower which was born, bloomed and withered, then you came to some conclusion in the end about love.
Before beginning the interpretation, I just want to say, the language is phenomenal through out.
So first stanza is about the beginning of love and it happened when you saw her for the very first time and you fell in love with her. Everything she used to do or love became your most favorite too. Like here you just mentioned only one thing, a lana del rey song. All of sudden, all the wise people around you who had been giving you advice for a long long time that not to fall in love, they became insane for you and you became a fool to them. And yes, losing our sleep and thinking about the only person in every single moment of our lives, day or night, is the very first symptom of love.
Second stanza is about the blooming of love. She accepted your love and you experienced everything. You read or felt the meaning of love when you kissed her for the very first time. You weren't only physically connected but emotionally too that was why she accepted you wholeheartedly. You tried to capture her beauty in your poems which you still do. And the last line says that you daydream a lot during those days.
Third one is about the bitterness often comes in a relationship when two people try to become more close than usual. They love each other that they can't see them spending time with someone other. Trust issues, egos, poisoned that perfect relationship. We start keeping things to ourselves and essence of feelings, romance begin to fade- start of te withering process. To be honest, I felt that the third stanza was a bit weak in comparison to the previous ones.
Then come your conclusios about love. Love wasn't the thing you or other poets portrayed in the poems, and it could turn a dream into a nightmare or good into bad.
I loved the end because there you solved the mystery that it wasn't your or her fault. It was like you used to believe in a quote 'love is all about meeting of two imperfect people' you once read or heard at some point in life and it stayed in your mind and somehow she was too perfect for you.
At last, I can only say that you will definitely find that imperfect person one day for sure. I just read your new poems and I loved it. Glad to see, it's nominated already.
I read this when you first posted it but for some reason I decided to come to it later when I was more free-minded. I am glad I'm back here because I really enjoyed this poem as if I was reading it for the first time. Shane, you have a way of pouring out your heart on paper, in a poem, so delicately, so smoothly, and so warmly romantic and full of emotion. This is mainly why I love your poetry. You know how to make it so smooth yet so not cliché, with beautiful imagery and similes.
By the way, I never read a poem of yours just once, because my friend one read of your poems is never enough.
You motivate me to write more. Thank you, Shane