Palpitations

‘Roid rage,
hulk smash,
whatever it looks like.

Weed doesn’t really relax me.
It gets me
out my head,
and into creativity,
it makes me move everything.

Distracting from the fact
my life is lived in lists.

The illusion of freedom is close enough.

ANYWAYS,
My hysterectomy is this month,
yes, I’mfinebutanyway
maybetheycanfixthecardiacissue.

Within the aorta
lives the screams of the poison
I try to counteract with
Klonopin, cannabis,
propanolol,
SSRIs,
Ativan,
yoga.

Heavy metal headbanging moshpits
set up coke fueled all-nighters.

I don’t need coffee in the morning
unless I wanna DIE

but it’s cool.
I’ma be cool.