I could have loved you

I could have loved you,
I know I could,
I just said no because…
Well, I thought I should.

It just seems so wrong,
But feels so easy,
Still, people disapprove,
And this is what scares me.

I’m not like you,
I can’t laugh it off,
And I wish I could,
I guess I’m too soft.

I’d love to love you,
But I’m being held back,
I won’t break free,
I’m terrified of that.

It’s your love, or the world’s,
And I guess that they add up,
It’s so hard to choose,
And make my mind up.

I’d love to love you,
I really would,
Suppose I could let go of everything,
Stop holding back, I should.

But still I’m scared,
I don’t know why,
See, it’s not up to them,
How I live my life.

I know you’re not asking me to love you,
But maybe someday, try.
I know it wouldn’t be difficult,
For you, I’d love to die.

Only if you want me to!
I’m not that screwed in the head,
I guess there’s a lot to say now,
It can wait, and instead…

Yet again I will apologise,
This was a waste of time,
Just wanted you to know that,
I’d love to make you mine.

I don’t think you wanna hear this,
You’d like a simple yes or no,
But it’s not all black and white,
And sometimes I just don’t know.

And yes, I’d love to love you,
Do anything you want,
I’d love to make you happy,
Or let you just move on.