New Dawn (Darcy’s Sonnet)

by - Mr. Darcy   Jun 19, 2019


Why did the rain fall sting on all my days
and why did branded skin refuse to heal?
For years I’ve walked within this haunted maze
a curse contaminating what was real.
In mirrors of my mind I saw a light,
but, ev’ry turn I met a blinded man.
Until a voice inside became a fight,
how could I ever make a final stand?
It’s time to breathe an air that doesn’t choke.
It’s time to fight against the raging sea,
and as the shackles sink to murky moat,
I know I’ll kick to where I will be free.

Into the depths of hell, I cast your name,
a new identity, this day, I claim.

.

.

- Mr. Darcy
© 2019

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Latest Comments

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Mark

    Great win!

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Everlasting

    This sounded like a slap in the face.

    My reaction as I was reading was ,” dangggg...” (forgive my expression. I couldn’t help it).

    Just one question,
    What do you mean by Darcy’s sonnet?
    Are you creating your own rules? Other than that, I find this a great read. The ending was intense.

  • 3 weeks ago

    by Daniel

    There’s a real sense of biting purpose here. A lot of raw energy and towards the end, the poem shines, and I must say it’s an effective use of the sonnet form.

    I enjoyed the idea of fighting a raging sea, and the courage sewn into the words. Maybe it’s just me but:

    ‘It’s time to breathe an air that doesn’t choke.‘

    Unless ‘choke’ is used after ‘I’ or ‘you’, I always feel it needs an object? I would never say ‘this air is choking’, it’d be ‘this air is choking me’. Of course, poetic license but I found this line a little disquieting. The use of ‘an’ before air seemed a bit forced to meet the syllable count too.

    The last line too, already having ‘me’ as a subject of the sentence, would it not make more sense to say ‘a new identity for me is claimed’? Just a thought.

    The rest of the sonnet I enjoyed immensely. A great piece, Michael!

    • 3 weeks ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      Daniel, thank you for this in depth comment. I like your suggestions too. I will chew over them and see how they taste.
      Praised.

  • 1 month ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    This sounds like a new beginning to me. All the very best. Hugs

  • 1 month ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Wow man, just wow.. You keep fighting the good fight good man :)

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