Have you ever lived in a world so upside down
That every smile you saw seemed like a frown?
Have you ever dreamt of dying
Only to regret waking up and crying?
Have you stood before an abyss
Wondering what’s there to miss?
Depression didn’t feel like an illness but a curse.
One that prescribed pills could never reverse.
That didn’t stop my doctors from trying their best
To turn me into a mouse for their lab test.
Felt like it was a game they were playing with me.
“How about you take this and let’s wait and see.”
My view of the world was a place of pain
So full of hatred and greed it was hard to explain.
It appeared there was no way to fix my broken mind.
Sleep and dreams were the only escape I could find
From the constantly gnawing thoughts of dread
And endless darkness that filled my head.
With each and every breath
I knew I was ever so closer to death.
Yet I still wished for an immediate demise
And the pavement 20 stories down hid my prize.
However the more I thought about it
I knew suicide was something I couldn’t commit.
What if death didn’t bring me relief from this life but the reverse?
I wondered if it could actually be something even worse.
It’s said that when you hit rock bottom the only way left is up.
Seeing my life as a now completely empty cup
Made me realize something new.
Something probably known to only a few.
It dawned on me that my pain was simply the other side of pleasure
And that the greater the grief then the greater the joy in measure.
After what felt like an eternity there was finally a crack.
And light is brightest only to those who’ve been lost in black.
Believing that I could and would get through this stage of my life
Had me getting out of bed to face the world and all its strife.
Everyone has different reasons for their depression
And denial won’t help as much as a simple confession.
Changing is one of the most difficult things to achieve and do,
But the routine you’re stuck in isn’t because of anyone else but you.
So I pray this message reaches you before it’s too late
Because it will get better if you can trust me and wait.