He ran his hands against my thighs
and asked,
“are these scars?”
And I replied,
“no, they’re new."
Because I am a mess
right now,
and this it the only thing
that makes me feel again.
It gives a face
to what I feel inside,
and makes it easier
to deal with each day.
And even though
I was covered in wounds
he still wanted me,
and that helped
a lot.
It may have been
physical attraction
and nothing more,
but it meant so much
to not be denied
because of what I'm going through,
or to not be denied
in general
like I was for so long.
This was the first time
in such a long time
I didn't think about you,
and I want that feeling
to continue
because it's terrifying
to have you in every thought
especially the ones
where I want to kill myself.
