Quarter of a century.

by Poet on the Piano   May 10, 2020

I tried to find home
by looking within and
only met sadness, as it
told me my dreams
could not be realized.

Fear is a shutter on
the soul -
others encourage me
to venture out,
despite not knowing
the danger ahead.

I am reminded how I'm
a survivor,
but what have I been
The pain may fade
but it does not forget;
it hides in crevices
until I've forgotten
to dust, then fills
my mind with
cobwebs of hysteria.

Older, yet not wiser,
simply more cognizant -
this world is not my home.
And I'm not sure home
is a place I'll ever visit,
if not for more than
a fleeting moment.
While the years add up,
I depart further from
my humanity.

Memories are
bodies in a burn pile,
too late to salvage

and the ashes wait,
like me, to be buried.


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Oh Mary Anne.....you have SO much beautiful life ahead of you! The pain, the hurt, yes, it never leaves us but you learn to tuck it safely in a spot that doesn't rub you raw. The scars bind together to form a stronger shelter for our tender and hurting hearts. As I was growing up I never thought I belonged, always felt like I was a million years older than my classmates, awkward. Oddly enough as I have gotten older I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I will always be awkward, thats just me and I've accepted that. When I was your age I was depressed a lot. I wondered what I was even doing here. Now, I know...my best life was coming. I have daughters that are moms themselves now and it is truly a joy to see them at this age. We now have 5, yes 5 grandbabies. I thought I loved my kids, its nothing like Grandbabies! I can just enjoy them. My past will never go away but it is in the past. I'm learning to live in the present and trying to make each day something. Even if it was a simple as getting out of bed and vegging on the couch, especially in these times, its something. Sometimes that is all the strength we have and thats ok. In all this ramble I just wanted to say, you matter, you are special. Never forget that. Stay strong! Hugs you-

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I am just incredibly sorry that having reached this milestone, you feel like this. Makes you wonder what a full century would do to you, doesn't it?

    Take care, MA.

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