Loss

I have lost another roof.
As though I'm in the bare world again
where everything is quite silent
yet everything is also quite loud.
I have never seen the sky as vast before,
I have never felt as small and insignificant.
My heart pressed by anxiety,
salvation is no where near.
I am still losing more walls.
As though I'm bare to the soul
where everything is quite cold
yet everything is quite tight.
I have never felt this weak before
I have never felt as adrift and ungrateful.
My conscious struck by drums
peace is no where near.
Torn and vulnerable,
I am cursed with consistent loss
never to find peace, never to find a home.
If only I could no longer be self-aware
if I could be doomed into something else,
a random happy thought in a child's mind
a restful tree, strongly clinging to its ground
an invisible tiny particle, floating in the open air.