Random ripples on her skin

by Everlasting   Jun 26, 2020


You said her skin was the ocean
you would gladly swim in
and you swam
and you swam with your every touch
until all there was left
were ripples on her skin

3


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  • 3 years ago

    by D.

    This is beautiful...I mean you need to remove 'a' from the first line, and I think you could un-capitalise the line beginnings as there's no punctuation (so it's a little distracting). Other than that, I adore the simplicity of this, and whilst I'm not huge on repetition in small poems, it works here. One thing I was curious about what was who the narrator was. Incredibly soothing poem, Luce. :)

    • 3 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Thank you for the suggestions. I made the changes.

  • 3 years ago

    by Gracy Judith

    Beautiful! Loved it!

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