A gorgeous poem Michael, full of lovely imagery, the first two stanzas especially. ‘My mind not being sharp enough’ is great!
I didn’t think :
‘I hear footsteps of stress;
stomping around in my mind;
like a noisy neighbour living above me’
Fitted so well, though, I like it as an image, just not in the context of this poem. And I do feel, personally the last stanza is a little cliched and over telling. Something simple like ‘you don’t say anything, but you never had to’ or ‘you don’t say anything’ and then finish the poem.
Just a personal thing. :) beautiful as ever though, Michael!
Thanks fella for your comments as always.. I did wonder about the end of my poem, and I did also think it may sound a little cliched. I felt it was a sort of 'getaway with' cliché. I'm not a huge fan of cliché for sure, but I just felt it ended okay with that.
I used to live below a noisy neighbour (wooden floor nightmare) and for some reason while I was writing this, I related it to the 'stress' in my mind and the noise that drove me mad haha! there is a connection, but I certainly see your point. Thanks so much for your perspective fella, always appreciated :)
How great is to have someone or anything to talk to about how we feel even if we don’t say anything at all. I enjoyed this read. Michael. Thanks for sharing.
My favorite lines:
hushes the madness
as you calmly, slip into my shoes
and join me in the blue of my eyes.