Frays

Really missed reading your poetry, even though it seems it's only been a few months!

I genuinely connected with this. The depth of how someone can hurt us, how far and long it can linger, even if we think it's only a surface or two that's been affected... it can be far more complex than that. I feel you pushing back here, more outspoken, realizing your own worth and that this no longer is your defining feature.

The most thought-provoking part for me in this poem is the theme of forgiveness. The acknowledgement, yet realizing it doesn't automatically mean that person is forgiven. I think people expect that too often. That if they make a "good enough" apology, even if they are sincere, and even if they do make significant amends or reparations, it's still not up to them. They were simply the perpetrators; forgiveness is not meant to be in their hands, or held over you like a deadline. Growing up, I was taught that forgiveness would almost be this guaranteed way to healing. That if we didn't forgive someone for something, it would be us who would pay. We would be the ones who would turn bitter. Forgiveness was preached about so often that it wasn't until I was older I realized I could choose to not forgive someone, and it didn't mean I didn't have enough love in my heart or that I'd hold on to this forever, but some things are unforgivable in my eyes. And setting those boundaries gave me freedom in a sense. I know for quite a few people, forgiveness is comfort, but it's when people imply that it should be given that it starts to lose meaning for me. No one can decide that but the person who's been affected.

You said so much in these few lines, with purpose and power. I keep going back to the line about weakness and how I tie that in is that people equate forgiving with being strong, being the bigger person, and to me, that is such a skewed perception. No matter what someone's intentions are, how they grow, how they try to make up for something, they never get to be the author of that decision.

Love this so much!