I shut off the lights
And lay on the bed
I close my eyes
And release my dread.
The tears pour with ease
And the sobs wrack a tired frame,
The blackened abyss sees
A soul shrouded in shame.
I crave the comfort of euphoria
As I wade through depression's murk,
A festering, fungal dysphoria
No longer placated by love, but hurt.
Like a collar, my hand wraps around my throat
To silence the demons in my mind;
Soft, strained moans lace the darkness as if a ghost
Encircles the room to watch me unbind.
My hands claim my body,
Raising me from my eternal hell
Allowing a mere taste of happiness
As stars cloud my sight from their spell.
Deprived of oxygen and ravaged by need,
I soar through ecstasy clouds
Flying high and extravagantly, flittingly free
Before plummeting back to unforgiving grounds.
Autoerotic asphyxiation is shadowed as a savior,
A devious, alluring threat to my life and endeavors -
Which release will I be allowed to savor?
Death or unbridled pleasure?
