Overwhelming

Heart racing
Hands shaking on the steering wheel
Red light blinking
Like it knows exactly how I feel
Breath stuck halfway
Swallowing a thousand words
Phone face down
Letting every single message burn

My emotions so overwhelming
Like a wave I can’t outrun
I keep smiling
I keep saying
“I’m okay” while I come undone
All this thunder in my rib cage
Clouds are gathering in my lungs
My emotions so overwhelming
And I can’t
I can’t go numb

Coffee gone cold
I forgot to even take a sip
Scrolling through pictures
Every memory a paper cut on my fingertips
Laugh in the mirror
But it trembles at the edges first
Say I’m “just tired”
When really I’m a flood about to burst

Stacking up plates in the sink
Like the thoughts that I never speak
If I start
If I start
I might cry for a week
Pull the curtains halfway closed
Let a little daylight in
Maybe feeling everything
Is where healing can begin