Shame on me for believing that this was different,
For fooling myself into thinking I was special;
I remember your words, but forget the pain in an instant,
Though how can I forget when I was merely a conquest after all?
You got what you wanted, dear.
I fell for all your sweet words, your beautiful lies,
Convincing myself that there was more here
Than would ever meet the tear-drenched eye.
I gave you my heart, my mind, my soul,
And yet, where might I be now,
But staring down into my coffin, bitterly cold,
Still pathetically hoping I was stupid to doubt.
What was I truly worth to you, my love?
I will forever wonder and ponder this
As I can only feel abandoned in the silence I begged you to save me from,
A tool for you to use to ease your own pain, someone so damn easy to dismiss.
Funny, though, how you vanished when I needed you most
Your light, your love, your care - everything you feigned
To rope me in, to chain me to you; I must appear as a joke,
Simply a pawn in your deplorable game.
Disgraced, I force my chin high
As I scream at the ghost of you,
An anger-fueled, despondent heart no longer waiting for replies
And seeing you in an entirely new, demonically blackened hue -
Shame on me
For trusting, needing, and believing you.
