Old Habits Die Hard

It never leaves my mind,
Just buried deep and away.
Sneaking up every once and awhile,
Taking the current moments away.

Im trying to heal from my past,
All the abuse, trama, and threats.
But it still comes to me,
My self sabotage still calling my bets.

Once they come crawling from the deep,
It takes everything for me not to hurt.
But it's not pushing me,
It's only calling out with a flirt.

I try and try to stay busy,
I dont want to give in to my own fight.
But maybe just once,
Maybe, once will be alright.