I stopped looking at the calendar eight weeks ago-
When I realized you weren’t coming back it was too much,
I avoided it like its existence was my demise.
Time used to be on our side.
Now every day that passes is a blur-
Quietly chipping away at the podium in my heart where you stood,
I grip the steering wheel of my car when I pass the road to your house and will myself not to cry.
I don’t understand why it had to be you.
Your cologne faded a long time ago but my nostrils memorized the scent-
I smelled every single thing that I could in the personal care grocery isle,
I know a can can’t replace you but I tried anyways.
I needed a hug but I never got the name of it.
Ive been grinding my feet into the floor so hard it hurts-
Your presence still hangs around long after you’ve been gone and,
I’ve been trying to ground myself because my nervous system still thinks you’re coming back.
It hasn’t gotten the memo.
I stopped looking at the calendar eight weeks ago-
Time used to be on our side.
Now it’s something I’m left to face alone.
