The bane in the surprise (Sonnet Sequence-II)

by Ş∂ņďħy∂   Aug 7, 2004


This is a Sonnet sequence. Please read part-I (The good surprise) before this.

Part 5
Envelope sonnet: "abba cddc efgefg (efefef)

We were excited when the doctor gave the good news
Not for a baby, but for a twin, we need to get toys!
She wanted both Girls and I wanted boys
We used to argue as if, God let us to choose

She will still be a baby, even after our twins will be born
The resplendent love we shared was our only wealth
I was glad to be a dad but vexed about her health
To have her pills, more than a kid, she used to be stubborn

Measuring her stomach and being so naughty
Each day she used to stand, in front of the mirror
With an ear on her tummy, I could feel them slightly
Days passed so fast, and her due date was nearer
I assured, the lot will be fine and comforted her warmly
But, often her eyes reflected an imminent terror

**************************************

Part 6
Donne's poems are often slightly different. For example, "abcaabba dedeff

I heard some doctor’s arguments
I saw many nurses flee nervously
Finally a gynecologist answered me
That, there were impediments;
The mother and the infants
Both were at risk, seriously.
My heart was beating vigorously
When they handed the documents

I heard her echo, “whom to save,
If it’s the mother or the babies!”
Those words made me stay no brave
I had lost all my sensibilities
My hands were trembling to sign
So I whispered, “Keep her fine!”

**************************************

Part 7
Spanish Sonnet: abba abba cdcdcd (each line, ten syllable)

She was begging, at the peak of her pain
“Save our children, please don’t make a mistake
Please do this for my sake! For our love’s sake!
She wouldn’t relax, which made things detain

Her chances to endure was seemly wane
I, deeply pled to lord, to take her ache
Any more bad news, my heart couldn’t take
Lastly she sighed, “love you”, across the pane

Nothing could fill the space, which she had left
I gained two princesses when I lost my first one
In my eyes they must have seen the future bereft
Sometimes their smile made my grief outdone
The sudden absence of my mate left my heart cleft
My body lost its soul, when her life was done.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Michelle

    Trincy again that was amazing work...I am truly impressed...and from the dads point of view was just inspired. So..SOOOO Sad, as previously stated..can't wait to see your next poem..take care, Michelle :)

  • 19 years ago

    by PnQ Mod Account

    OHHHhhh, Trincy, that was sooo sad!

    and very beautifully written!

  • 19 years ago

    by Shona

    omg DONE WITH THIS STUPID SITE, get over it, it was a fantastic poem and thats all that matters, if poems are perfect, then thyre not real and from the heart.

    wd and keep writing :) xoxox

  • 19 years ago

    by Ş∂ņďħy∂

    To "Done with this stupid site"

    Oh.. i typed a long reply.. But it disappeared. I have no more patience to type the whole thing again. I will type as much as I can once more.

    Thanks for pointing out the spelling mistake. I appreciate your sincere criticism. You gave me a lot valuable information. I am sure this will be helpful to many.

    Yes you were right about some things...but wrong about some other things.

    There are not only two types of sonnet. But there are a lot more. I can give you the web links to some of them. Of course, the English and the Italian are the two major ones. I have tried writing an Italian sonnet. But i realize i haven't followed some of the rules. Once i get the chance i will edit it.

    You said much about Shakespearian Sonnets. They are a lot difficult and so i didn't try it yet. The other sonnets which i have tried have much much lesser rules. You should have checked it before blaming me. I have provided the names of each sonnet I have tried.. You had the opportunity to make a search of it before blaming. But Mr. Perfect jumped into conclusions.

    Here are some web links… IF you want to further investigate, try these web links
    http://www.geocities.com/Bikies_poetry/sonnet1.html
    http://www.geocities.com/Bikies_poetry/sonnet2.html

    You will find many of the sonnets, which I have tried in these sites.

    I know you will never be satisfied. If you still find mistakes.. you can point it out. I do appreciate it. I am not here to listen only sweet words. So you are welcome.
    Good day to you SIR!

  • 19 years ago

    by Megha

    very sad..and very nice...i felt like i was watching a movie when i read the entire thing together..... :-)

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