If Only..

If Only U Knew..
The things I that knew
Could U possibly understand why
I chose to keep quiet
For years and stuck by it
Hit bottom and still here I lie

Some-day's as I laid
I prayed that someway
Suspicions would rise to the point
You'd ask lots of questions
And force my confessions
The weight lifted away till I'm buoyant

My answers might scare U
much more than I care to
Admit the pains that I endured
But in truth, its been lonely
Thought many "If Only's..."
My whole life spent being Unsure

Its maddening to think
how fast U can sink
In the sands of the land of Don't Say
I think now its absurd
That it takes just 3 words
To release all that I kept away

From the ones I adore
And respect, I got more
Unsure doubts than I'd like to admit
Their reaction's I seen
In all of my dream's
My concerns are solid, legit

If Only U Knew..
The things that I knew
Would I have Ur support and love too?
Would U still be my Mother
Want me as Ur Brother
I wonder?...If Only I Knew!