Loneliness

by Lance Hardy   Oct 12, 2004


Desperate, my cry
But alone, I will die
A long way I’ve trudged
But I have been judged
It takes but one glance
Then I’ve lost my chance
Why am I this way
It’s not fair I say
They look and don’t see
The one, true me.

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Thanks ahead of time for looking at this.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Amy

    Short and straight to the point. I really liked this poem. Keep it up.

  • 19 years ago

    by Aken Sol

    Yeah, do what Sean says. maybe start out with 8 syllables, and remember to keep it consistent. Unless you want to try a peom that has no R&R at all. Both Seanand i have some of those. They're fun sometimes :-)
    Aken Sol

  • 19 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    Hey I liked this poem. If you were just an above average poet, I would say this is great and you should keep up the good work. But i know you can do better, so I'll do my best to offer improvements for your next poem. I would advize making ur lines longer. you don't have to make the poem longer, just the lines. I would say 10-12 syllables is a good count. Sometimes long lines make ur rhyme scheme less distinct, and you can really start sounding good (e.g. The Raven by Poe).

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