Day After Day

by Lance Hardy   Oct 13, 2004


I walk my lonely road
Day after day
Just to miss my chance
To win this race

I carry this heavy load
Day after day
Just to take a glance
At your beautiful face

Moving towards my abode
Day after day
I’m lost in my trance
So I quicken my pace

I feel like a toad
Day after day
Your walk is a dance
You move with such grace

I walk my lonely road
Day after day
To find you perchance
And fill my empty space

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Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks ahead of time.
Changed last lines in last two stanzas to make it sound better.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Rachael/7MidniteTears

    great form with the poem. it had nice rhythm and i usually don't like repetative poems but this was really really good. keep up the great work.

  • 19 years ago

    by juss an allycat

    yeah it had nice rhythem and the repitition added alotof effect! it was short and too the point! great job! p.s u r very hot!

  • 19 years ago

    by Amy

    Good poem, flowed together well. I liked the repetition in the stanzas. Great work

  • 19 years ago

    by Aken Sol

    Man, this is some good reading. The repitition of the second line is totally unique for me. No BS, the repitition of the second line is totally uniquer to me. No BS. Keep em coming, cuz you got a long way before you catch up to us.
    AKEN sOL

  • 19 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    Okay, so I love the form of the poem. The repitition of the day by day, along with the complex rhyme scheme that spans the different stanzas is great. However, my criticism lies in the last line. I don't think it makes very much sense, and the rhyme seems forced. Face et. all also rhymes with : lace, mace, ace, bass, brace, chase. grace, space, trace, vase, embrace, disgrace, erase, replace, and much much more. Mebbe you can give one of those a whirl eh?

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