Behind My Smile

I'm suffering behind this smile
Torn apart by demons in my head
I've lost my worth; I've lost my meaning
I'm feeling alone when I'm sitting right next to you.

This all came so suddenly, and before I knew why
I was crying myself to sleep again
Just like I always did before.
I'm lost to where this came from, but I know it isn't leaving yet
It will stay until it has bled me dry.

I need you the most right now
When these wounds are opening wide again.
You do not know my past
You have never seen me hurt.
But please, don't walk away from me now.

I'm trying to hide all this, but I can't hide it from you
You know all my secrets, you know all my truths
Yet you don't know that I've been through this before.
But I have, so I can make it through
As long as I have your hand to hold.

I'm suffering behind this smile
Crying behind my laugh
Hurting, and although my heart still beats on
I'm dying inside myself.
I am bleeding invisible blood
Begging someone to see.