14 year old murderer

This girl is in pain
this girl i know
but when shes at school
it doesn't show

she giggles and laughs
and is always smiling
its when she gets home
that she starts crying

she goes straight home
to watch the 5 and 9 year old
there she cooks and she cleans
or so the stories told

she cooks them dinner
does the laundry and the dishes
takes out the dog
feeds the hamster and the fishes

her moms never home
and shes never loved her
shes 14 years old
and has to act like a mother

puts the kids to bed
locks all the doors
turns out the lights
and falls to the floor

picks up a knife
puts it to her arm
but sets it back down
cus shes done with self harm

it isn't effective
doesn't cause enough pain
so now shes done
using a knife on her vein

instead she goes to the closet
and pulls out a gun
one shot from this baby
and she'll be done

sets it next to her
for she'll need it soon
but for now
she'll drink to her doom

she picks up the bottle
and changes her mind
she has a new idea
about happiness to find

she opens the door
by her sisters bed she stands
one shot and shes there
a smoking gun in hand

now for the other
she stands by that bed
one loud noise
and now there both dead

now for herself
it is her time now
she folds her hands
and her head she bows

"dear lord forgive me
for i have done bad things
but if you want me to live
the phone will now ring..."

in that instant
she hears a shrill ring
its only the phone
but sounds like angels who sing

she drops the bottle
the gun and the knife
and she cant bring herself
to take her life

suddenly she realizes
what shes done
shes horrified by the hands
that held the gun

she bursts into tears
turns on the light
they were so young, and now dead
it isn't right

now shes in juvy
its the life that she chose
but every month for her
on their grave is a rose

now i look in the mirror
and guess what i see
a 14 year old murderer
staring back at me

*please vote and comment, even though its not one of my best*