UGLY

I’ve come to really hate myself
I look in the mirror and all I see
Is this ugly, disgusting freak
I wish so bad that I wasn’t me

And no matter where I go
I can’t run from how I look
I don’t face the world
I’d rather bury myself in a book

Through all the years of bullying
I was my own best friend
But this past year
That has come to an end

I started to understand
What was always there
What I pushed away
Acting as if I did not care

I let the sticks and stones
Break my bones because it does hurt
When those words are said
When I am treated like dirt

I always tried to convince myself
That beauty lies inside
But what once flourished there
Now seems to have died

And once I was staring at myself
Staring at the ugly creature before me
I slashed a blade across my face
Knowing no man could ever adore me

And sometimes when I cut
It’s me trying to kill the thing inside
This ugliness that sunk in
And if I cut too deep, and I died …

It would be no more than I deserve.

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© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005