Once again I take the knife

Once again I take the knife,
Try to stop the hurt, try to quit my life.
Once again I try to succeed,
And pray my wrists shall bleed and bleed.
That the blood shall drain away from me,
And let my tortured soul be free.

Once again I take pill after pill,
This battered body, I try to kill.
Once again I try to achieve,
My goal of which this life to leave.
I just want to stop all this agony today,
To make my troubles go away.

Once again I get a rope,
Try to kill this pain; I cannot cope.
Once again I tie the noose,
But it always seems to be too loose.
I want so much for it all to end,
This screwed up life I cannot mend.

Once again I hold the gun,
For with this awful world I’m done.
Once again I try to pull the trigger,
To stop my problems before they get bigger.
The only thing that’s holding me back,
Is the courage I need, but that I lack.

Once again I stand ten storeys high,
I want to jump, I want to fly.
Once again I stand on the window ledge,
I can’t take it no more, I’m on the edge.
But yes this is it, I start to fall,
This last desperate action shall finish it all.