Fake strength.

I promised myself I would be strong,
And i swore i would not back down
But last weekend was the same -
After you came home from town

You slammed the front door shut,
Like the tough man you think you are
"Turn out the light kid"
As mum stumbled out of the car

I did as you said without question,
I would rather avoid the pain
But you hammered on my door,
Screaming that i was driving you insane

I hid myself under the covers
And prayed you would disappear
God please silence this horrible drone,
That he is booming in my ear"

But God could not prepare me,
For what you were about to do
Pounding open my bedroom door,
"What the hell is wrong with you"

I did not know what to say,
So instead i acted brave
But you picked up my school book
And went into a fit of rage

"I am sorry, please, don't throw it"
Oh, i am sick of having to plead
Why does a daughter have to beg,
When a loving father is all she needs?

My apologies again went unheard
As you chucked those books at my head
It is like my voice is silent,
Dad, would you rather i was dead?

Last weekend was nothing different,
It was just like the many before
But, Father, hear me this time,
Because i cannot take it anymore

I am NOT sorry for being worthless,
And I am NOT sorry for being myself
Please don't try to stop me, Dad,
I DO NOT need your gutless help

_______________________________
*I guess i was stupid to think people can change ... nothing ever changes ... people do not ever change*