My Clouded Sun

by Carmen   Mar 23, 2005


You are like the sun,
When your here you make me smile,
Make me feel like I can run for miles.
You brighten up my day,
Just by the stuff you do and the little things you say.

You are like the healthy green grass,
You are everywhere I look,
Because my heart is what you took.

You are like beautiful flowers,
You make me happy when I am down,
And you turn my frown upside down.

You are like the cool blue water,
You cool me down when I am mad,
You make me happy when I am sad.

You are like the trees,
You make me stand tall,
And you help me up when I teeter and fall.

You are like my air,
I need you to live,
And my love for you is what I give.

Because of the clouds,
I can't always see my sun.
She is like the clouds.
She keeps us away,
And I only hope that our love will stay.
She hides all the fun,
Making you my clouded sun.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Jamie

    This is a good poem because fo the feeling that you seem to have put into it and the descriptive words you used i just got like this pretty flower field with lots of sunshine in my head with clouds in the way being like your mom or another girl or something i dunno but great job

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    I liked it. The rhymes are good. But Im getting sick of rhyming poems. Even though they are good. MEh, it's just me though. but i liked it..

    5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Robert

    The start was real nice and it flowed well, I think if you stayed with the style you started it would hold more of a power in your words. The sad thing was you changes about a third of the way down and you just chucked it in thew toilet. The first part was real good but the last was very weak I would revise the second parrt just for priciples sake. Well thats all I can say...

  • 19 years ago

    by »«¤ß詤»«

    wow this is brilliant so creative and heartfelt! loved every line! >>5/5<<
    bec

  • 19 years ago

    by Amanda

    Yes very well written! Again very well expressed. I thought it was good. :)

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