Who Have I Become?

I’m so sorry, all I find myself doing is apologizing
I give no thought to my emotions any longer
They mean nothing to me as long as I have you
I don’t care how I feel anymore, you make me stronger

I love you more than anything, even life itself
I find myself so confused, lost in my fears
You to me are like the light that guides my path
I’m sorry that I was the one to cause you those tears

Running from all I once held safe and secure
Can’t stop these tears, but I don’t understand now
I have no reasons for this to start, yet I see no end
Everyone says I can change, but no one tells me how

I’m drowning in self-pity, and burning in self-harm
The tears I cry are painful, warm and deep blood red
All that could go right, could help me find my way
Has turned around, and hurt me so, but only in my head

My words perplex my mind, never unfold the riddles
I dream of you, that is the only time when I feel right
So that is why I long to sleep, just close my eyes
I can’t wait for my sweet dreams of you tonight

Somebody save me from myself, no longer recognizable
Hating the person I’ve turned into, the monster I've become
Thriving on my loneliness and self-hatred, all I have
I only feel for you now, as I have grown to be so numb

I don’t know what goes on in my head any more
I’m so afraid of what I say, my words are not mine
I speak in tongues, to no one but myself, and you
Given up the lie, you know that I am no longer fine