I dont understand

I don't understand
why my life is this way
I'm sitting here wondering
if ill ever be able to look away
why do i sit here on my floor
saying oh my god i need more i need more
i need more coke
but for then i will choke
i need more pot
but for then i would get really hot
I need more of the drink
for after that i wouldn't be able to think
i need more of everything
It just doesn't always happen that way
I need more of the blood
to get me through the day
i need to see that razor
go deep deep then far away
now I'm lying on the floor
I think I'm dying but i still want more
I'm laying here just trying to think of what i can do to keep on dying
That s when it hits me
I'm almost dead anyways
So why just not take my life today
and end it forever and always

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