My Mind's Fateful Goal

I stayed in my room today
Alone on my bed I did lay
With thoughts in my mind but nothing to say
Because my world has abruptly turned gray

I tried to let it out and cry
But not a single tear would enter my eye
I just couldn’t and don’t know why
Now all I wish is to die

I don’t want this life
So I turn to the overused knife
I’m not strong enough for this strife
So I think I’ll end my life

I sat in the dark, quiet and still
With dark thoughts, my mind did fill
One kept returning, like a subconscious will
Myself, I did think to kill

I cannot handle this unending pain
On my weary soul, it puts such a strain
It stays in my heart, like a stubborn stain
To wash it away, I pray for a healing rain

But this suicide though haunts my soul
And I believe it’s taking its toll
So I fear one day, I might lose control
And reach my mind's fateful goal

*I feel like the beginning could have been better, so thanks for sticking it out till the end*