I am the reason ...

by ElegantlyWasted   May 1, 2005


I am not the reason why,
You cry in pain at night,
And i am not the solution to,
Or the cause of every fight.

You can say that you're blameless,
To erase the guilt for awhile,
But after you realize I'm gone,
Will you still be in denial?

All i wanted to do was help,
But i guess i got in the way,
You couldn't handle our friendship,
So again, you ran away.

But i can't stop myself wondering,
If you feel at all alone?
Maybe you've lost all hope,
To do it on your own.

Maybe you returned to cutting,
Or drinking just like your mum,
- Now I'm starting to feel sick,
What if you've picked up that gun.

What if i really am responsible,
For the hurt you feel inside,
And the guilt upon your shoulders,
Is all because I've cried.

Were you really a good person,
With good intentions at heart?
Or were you the scheming loser,
I had predicted at the start.

I guess i will never know,
If you meant those things you said,
But for now I'll blame myself,
For i am the reason you're dead.

+I'm so tired ... so tired of this+

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by †JustAri†

    I AGREE WITH FREAK!!! Don't blame yourself grrl, for 1 it's not healthy (because u go thru life wondering if what u do or say is gonna make somebody kill themselves), and 2 bcuz he could've had so many other reasons. He was cutting, right? *NOTE EVERYTHING FREAK SAID* Just don't blame yourself, Kal. LUV U SO MUCH SHAWDY, //ari\\

  • 18 years ago

    by ~*Ley*~

    don't ever blame yourself for someone else's death. its never anyone else's fault but the one who is dead. well i mean of course unless you ran him over by a car, or stabbed him or something, but im guessing thats not the case. it's not your fault, if he truly wanted to do it, there must have been many reasons, people do not kill themselves (im guessing thats the case) over one person, i get the impression the person was cutting, if they were cutting then obviously they were upset before they met you , or before you hurt them or whatever. they already had pain. you didnt make it any worse than any other person could have. you cannnot live your life walking on eggshells around everybody for fear you are the last straw to put them over the edge. know what i mean? never blame yourself.
    ~Freak~
    p.s. oh yea lol awesome poem. i really felt it

  • 19 years ago

    by ~VaMpIrE KiSsEs~

    Hey Gurl!
    I know things may get tuff at times, but stay in there. I am always here for ya no matter what. But n e wayz, again another beautifully written poem. Your so talented! Keep up the good work!
    Love alwayz!
    ~*Mya*~

  • 19 years ago

    by EpithetPoet

    This is probably one of your best poems. It just flowed so nicely while still understanding the message you laid out. Very beautifully done.
    Always much love,
    -A

  • 19 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    ooo girl, i know your life may seem overwhelming right now, but you can do this, it's a greatly writen poem, just put all your feelings into poetry and maybe that will help, wish i could help you more! always here

    ~PLP~ lil angel~ hugs & forever love~

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