Piano

Beautiful poem! I love pianos, so much! My boyfriend is a pianist and it is my most favorite instrument -- it just has such a beautiful look and sound to it. I'm glad you chose a piano as your image!
One note, however, when you say, "To have you rip my heart out" it seems way too brutal for the rest of the poem and I felt it didn't fit quite right. Perhaps add a softer image of the same idea -- maybe the speaker is playing the wrong keys that clash -- I am not sure.

Great job, ask me if you have any questions!
-z

These are the lines I like "I breathe in deep
Slowly slide my fingers
Across the black and white keys
And let my cries
Be played out on the strings
Of this old piano
My worth is gone

To have you rip out my heart

So I play these keys
Of black and white
And let my song
Of long forgotten love
Be played out "

These lines are awesome. I didn't personally like the other ones, cause again they are kind of saying what everybody likes to write about, the way everybody else likes to write. But I think if you just put these lines together like this:

"I breathe in deep
Slowly slide my fingers
Across the black and white keys
And let my cries
Be played out on the strings
Of this old piano
My worth is gone
To have you rip out my heart and not care
So I play these keys
Of black and white
And let my song
Of long forgotten love
Be played out"

I think these lines are enough to say what you want to say, but at the same time you don't say too much. And I think it is stronger. The similes and metaphors are strongest in these lines, and weakest in the others. But don't worry, you won't always like how another person thinks your work should be edited. I don't either. Sometimes I listen sometimes I don't . Anyways cool idea with the piano and all

As the other ones, this was a very good poem. It was so deep.

-Jennifer.

Beautiful poem 5

Awsome metahor! So much passion and feeling .. wow! I really liked this
exceptional write