Internal Fight

A wall centuries old, I'm ready to cave in.
A wall that when it falls won't find guilt within it's sin.
For when this wall falls I'll be freed of all my pain.
No more chains holding me finally I have something to gain.
Maybe if I continue to do what I want and not care.
Why maybe my life won't be so full of this awful despair.
Looking at my life through someone else's eyes.
No more broken hearts, no more sorrow felt cries.
Looking trough their eyes that are starring back at me.
I see myself looking frightened, I'm ashamed of what I see.
Ashamed of my cowardness, ashamed of my fright.
But no matter the amount of shame I'll still put up a fight.
I see the bottles of emotion that are breaking up within.
I'm putting up a fight but it seems as if I won't win.
The bottle of despair starring me in the eye.
No matter the amount of pain still I will not die.
This second side of me that won't give up the fight.
Insomnia taking me over keeping me awake all night.
Frightening dreams of death and of defeat.
No matter how loud I scream it comes out as a squeak.
In the dreams I'm lost unwilling to be found.
I'm steadily dying away while there's no one else around.
Even though I'm alone swallowed up by my own sin.
The evil may be winning but still I won't cave in.
But still I find myself thinking that I'm going to drown.
So I sink into the water with a final frown.
As I'm ready to go under I see this shining light.
I start to swim up not giving up my fight.
I feel as though a force is making me go deeper yet.
Hopefully when I die the world will forget.
That I was only fighting myself from within.
Finally realizing this internal fight I could never win.