Something to me

Feel I'm breaking down,
Can't find freedom,
From this frown,
Trapped inside a broken smile,
Feel like an abandon child,
Cannot find my way home,
Even though it is right in front of my heart,
Feel so drained and ripped apart,
See my life drift me by,
Can't seem to grab it,
Don't know why?
I begin to trip,
I lose my grip,
My silver falls into my skin,
Along my leg,
A cut so thin,
Away it goes,
To hide in my draw,
To my relief no one saw,
Disobeyed my mind today,
Broke my attempt to waste away,
Can't seem to do anything right,
May as well just give up my fight,
Not meant for me,
The bubbley life the seem to see,
Look around to see if anyone is there,
Open my mouth and my lungs being to tear,
So lost through my eyes,
All my so desperate cries,
Want to bad to release my mind,
I need to let it unwind,
Really wish i could understand,
Why my heart is in pieces as small as a grain of sand,
Why I scream and cry and become self violent,
But all the while being so silent,
Need to get away,
Find a better day,
Need to catch my breathe,
Place my hands on my chest,
Feel my heart beat,
Something I wish to defeat,
So I can get away from my dreams,
All my so silent screams,
To end it would be a relief,
But will unfortunately only be a belief...