Let's Talk

by Hopeless Romantic   Jun 13, 2005


Even though I've never met you,
I feel i can tell you everything.
All about my sad times,
my sorrows and my pains.

I know i can tell you,
everything i feel.
and i know that my feelings
are one hundred percent real.

I pray you will give me the chance
to show you what i mean.
all of these emotions you say,
cant come from a teen.

But i tell you they can.
they're coming from me now.
these feelings are as strong,
as a lover's wedding vows.

all of these things,
Ive been wanting to tell you.
but i didn't know how.
i didn't have a clue.

Now that I've told you
just how much i care.
please don't reject me.
we would make the perfect pair.

If you feel the same way,
then return this to me.
and our lasting love
will be the object of all envy.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    I pray you will give me the chance
    to show you what i mean.
    all of these emotions you say,
    cant come from a teen.

    This is clunky, but easily fixable:

    I pray for you to give me,
    The chance to show you what I mean.
    You say all of these emotions,
    Cannot come from any teen.

    I changed a few words and order to fit flow and punch. Ending a line with emotion packs a much bigger punch than say. remember this for future poems.

    Again, follow the tips I gave you on Hopless Romantic and this will look and feel a lot crisper.

    Bret

  • 18 years ago

    by Kit Kat Katie

    I liked this one. the form is nice. Good work

    Love Alwayz,
    Katie Schettler

  • 18 years ago

    by lostlllsoul

    hey =)
    great poem
    keep up the gd work
    lots of luvxXx

  • 18 years ago

    by Hopeless Romantic

    thank you bj. and it did NOT get returned! :(

  • 18 years ago

    by =)~ BJ ~(=

    omg mike, that was great. if you've given that to somebody and they didnt return they're crazy. i absolutely loved it. so much love and emotion, mwahh

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