Red

by Renee   Jun 13, 2005


Red is what I see
When I look into your eyes.
Is it love, or is it hate?
I just can't decide

Make it stop burnig
It's staring straight into my mind.
It's scaring the sh.it out of me,
please blink, just one time.

I never meant to hurt you!
I swear, it was all in good fun
Wait, what are you doing?
No, please? put down the gun!

You said theres only one bullet...
then why is it pointed at your heart?
You want ME to pull it?!!
What do you mean I've already done that part?

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Lydie

    You spelt burning wrong :D

    -lyd

  • 18 years ago

    by Carmen

    wow.... poor person! *pouts* it was so sad, but it rymed and flowed great. 5/5 keep it up and thnx for rating my poems

  • 18 years ago

    by undying blusher

    The "choppy" thing...I think it works very well. It creates the feeling of emotion and angst building up...I loved it. Original. :)

    xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie84

    I've read these comments and a couple people said the flow was "choppy" and I totally disagree. I think people think it's choppy because you don't always use the OBVIOUS rhyme which to me is more interesting and unique. I like this...I like that you ended it that way. It leaves the reader wondering what happened next....another nice write and just so you know you got me hooked. I'll probably run through all of these. Please don't be upset with me coonay!! HAHAHA

  • 18 years ago

    by Lonely Heart .ღ.

    i can sorta relate to this one..

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