Should I

A girl sits looking in the mirror
She's drowning in her own tears
Wondering what is the point
If I leave life will be easier for them

She looks down at the bloody knife
Then at her wrist
Watching the blood flowing from her arm
Staring at the vein she barely missed

She thinks to herself
next time I won't miss
I will hit that vein
Erasing all this pain

I will make their life easier
I will make them happy again
Because of me their life sucks
I cause all the fights

I make them have all this pain
I should be the one that gets blamed
Why won't they just be honest?
And tell me that I'm the reason their life sucks

Why can't they just tell me the truth already?
I don't think they'll care if I leave
They'll probably throw a big party
Thanking god I'm finally gone
I have finally left

Yeah sure they'll cry
Mom will probably have a heart attack when she walks into my room
And sees me lying in my own blood
Dead because I cut my wrist and hit a vein

Yeah sure she'll blame herself
But that's okay i can fix that I'll leave her a note
Dear Mom,
I didn't leave this place because of you
I didn't leave because I don't love you
You didn't cause me to die
So don't blame yourself okay
Please don't
I love you and always will
Love your dearest daughter

There you go
There is the note
Now she won't blame herself when I go
SHe can't she won't
Well she can and she probably will

But still
She'll be happy eventually
Without me here she'll be happier then ever
Right?

Well probably not
But still sooner or later she will come to her senses
She'll realize how great life is
And she'll be fine and finally be happy

She'll have everything
She'll be happy
And have all that she always wanted
Yeah sure

She won't have me anymore
But no headache
No heartache because of what I say
No mor pain because I can't do the right thing
No more worries about where I am or what I am going to become

The girl yet again looks in the mirror
She's still crying
Still wondering what she should do
She doesn't want to hurt her mom anymore

But yet she doesn't want all this pain either
And she can't fix everything all at once
But if she keeps all this pain she's going to go insane
Yet again if she goes her mom will hurt even more

She looks down at the blade
Picks it up one last time
And asks herself one last time
Should I die now and take away all this pain
Or go on another day and see if it starts to go away?
©Angel Wellesley