Broken Love

Well, this poem has a lot of things for me to point out so prepare to read a very long critique. :)

Disclaimer: You asked for honesty, that's what I'm giving. I'm by no means saying you suck, but there's room for improvement in everybody's writing.

First off, I'll start by telling you I'm going to number all your lines, 1 being the first line and so on. That way, you can find what I'm talking about easier than me just saying "second stanza" or whatever. Plus, it's easier for me to critique.

Okay. Here we go.

Line one has a period that is unnecessary. Same with line three.
The whole first stanza, lines one through four, are very tiresome because they're almost cliche. The ideas and words have been used, almost in that order, in about every love poem like this from here to the moon. Try finding a different way to say it.

Line five. "Things just happened so sudden." Very, very, unoriginal. Try stating it in a less planitive way. Also, you should try to keep away from thowing things such as "just" into the middle of the line, it's unnecessary emphasis. It pretty much makes the whole line crap. If you had wrote "Things happened so suddenly", even that would sound loads better.
I'm not going to bother commenting on the rest of that stanza because I've said all of it before. By the way, never, ever, say "was like getting stabbed with a knife". EVERYONE has used that in a poem. It makes for very bad reading because the reader wants to roll their eyes at the cliche-dness.

I'm going to stop going line by line now, I covered everything that's wrong with the whole poem in the first two stanzas I critiqued.

However I do like your ending because it's a bit more unique than the rest of the poem.

Don't misunderstand me, your poem isn't bad, nor is it poor. It's just not the quality I think you could write.

nice job! keep it up!

I love this poem!!! it relates 2 me so much, it aint even funny! keep writin, ur really good!

that was awesome....5/5

this was a really sad poem. breaking up with a boyfriend is always hard. im sry that happend, but keep but your great writing skills