Rusted Rainbow

by ♥•oOo Nikki oOo•♥©   Jul 14, 2005


Sand Collected
And Remodeled All In Rust
As I Watched My Hopes
Shatter Amongst The Dust

Un-Lived Life's
Dreams Would Help Pursue
a Hope Un-Lived
a Dream Thats Over-Due

Peering Out My Window
Like Its Tainted Glass
Waiting On My Father
To Have Him Back I'd Ask

But I Was Only Four
That Rainbow Seemed To Go
After The Rainy Days
Father Never Seemed To Show

Years Later In Research
Clarity Was a Must
I Found His Body
Collecting Sorrows Rust

He Committed Suicide
He Wanted To Die Alone
But He Left Me Waiting For Him
Waiting Till He Got Home

Rainbows Of Disgrace
Scattered Among My Mind
Fulfillment Of a Father
One Day I Hope I'll Find

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by .. !!-D a R r i N-!! ..

    good

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    Personally, I feel that when people use words in an unusual manner to complete a rhyme it takes away from the poem.
    "But I Was Only Four
    That Rainbow Seemed To Go
    After The Rainy Days
    Father Never Seemed To Show"

    The never seemed to show line bothered me a bit because the rest of the poem had a significantly different tone, while that line seemed a bit "slangish."

    Albiet my regretful personal preferences, I think this poem was powerful, although I think it could have been a bit more powerful with a few word changes here and there. good work.

  • 18 years ago

    by JL

    great job 5/5! awesome riting!