Fading

I can't cry anymore, the tears are locked inside
blood red lines on my arm show all that I hide
I find shelter in the nothingness of life itself
but in this way my life has lost all previous wealth
I'm left empty and frozen in the heat
situations engulf me, and to the blade I retreat
And in a way I'm happy in the sadness
I have my way to cope, I know how to do this
Finding a routine with the numbness of boredem
I continue with this life, full of lies faking freedom
Lying in this pool of guilt, regret and sadness
I watch the world, as it continues with its madness
Inside I'm dying, slowly each day
And happiness is fading, as I push everything further and further away