Now become my curse- Bulimia

by Jordan   Aug 3, 2005


**I am sturggling from bulimia and I wanted to thank anyone who reads my story...**

I lay on my bedroom floor
Listening closely to my heart
Trying to pinpoint the time in my life
When the throwing up began to start

When did I become?
This lifeless little girl
When did school and family stop mattering?
And vomiting became my world?

How could this have happened?
I was just like everyone else
I guess I took things a little different
And just started to hurt myself

I started throwing up the enemy
And cutting away my pain
I started ignoring everyone
And began to slowly go insane

What started as a way out
Has now become my curse
And just when I think it’s getting better
It turns out to be getting worse

So show me where to go
Or tell me what to do
Does anyone out there
Even understand what I’m going through?

My friends that actually know
Try hard to just ignore
Some of them are just the reason
I’m laying here on this floor

No one can understand
The pain I’m going through
None of them know the way
Or can tell me what to do

So please who’s ever listening
Tell me where to go
Guide me in the direction
I’m lost and I don’t know

Mom just plain ignores it
Friends pretend that it’s not true
I need some advice here guys
What if it were you?

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by ashley

    Sadly it is me to...im going through the same thing and no really does anything i think i told like 4 ppl and they just shrugged it off like it was a phasei wish i could tell u what to do but i dont even know myself and thats really hard...if u ever need to talk email me at ashley_hershey@hotmail.com

  • 18 years ago

    by lostlllsoul

    Great poem u have...
    very nicely written
    i love all your other poems too
    u really talented
    keep writting
    i dealt with bulimia before
    but im glad my friends help me pull through it if not i'd probably wouldn't be here now..
    if u ever need sumone to talk abt anything i'll always be there..
    stay strong
    take cares
    & smile always

  • 18 years ago

    by BleedingAngel

    I'm there, I totally understand what you are going through, i have been suffering from bulimia and anorexia for 4 years now.....I know what it's like when your family pretends to not knowing and I hate the silence whenever I comes out from the bathroom.....They all knoe and I know that they know!!!! Great poem once again, I find it so easy to relate to your poems....I have written a poem called "dear Mia", about how I wished that I could let ED go, but you know how hard it is....read it some time if you want to....

    *Love Sabrina*

  • 18 years ago

    by holly

    Well i totally understand this poem and everything that you are going threw because i am also dealing with these things and alot of the time i also feel like no one ever understands... but i really do hope that things will get better for myself just as much as i do for you not to mention that you put the words you were feeling into such an amazing poem with so much truth and emotion and you have so much talent! i really enjoy reading all of your poems because alot of them i can relate to my own personal feelings and experiences well anyway take care,

    holly

  • 18 years ago

    by healing wounds

    i am currently struggling with bulimia/anerexia(sp)....i'll go days without eating than when i do eat i throw it up, so i know how it feels to be struggling with it. not saying i know how u feel cuz everyones different....but i got a better understanding then someone whos not dealing with it....its hard but i believe u can and will make it through this, just keep ur head up high and believe in urself...u can do it. if u ever want to talk email me or if u have yahoo messenger IM me at scoobydoo21186@yahoo.com.... just know there are ppl who care about u and that ur a great person...take care!

    healing_wounds

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