Immense pains that I feel within, that cause me to cry.
If only you seen the ways, I torture myself every night.
I hate the outrageous thoughts that crawl inside my head.
I feel like giving up on life, but I donâ€™t want to be dead.
Even though Iâ€™m breathing, it feels like Iâ€™m already gone.
The happiness ran away from me, being too far beyond.
My heart is total loss, because it was torn and shattered.
My weakness increased, because things stopped to matter.
The currents are pushing me hard enough to drown me,
Soon in time silently.
As the depression I fall in, eats me piece by piece.
If only I could be strong enough to fight this crazy battle.
I would jump out of my death, and win with no hassle.
But when you see that youâ€™re living in a dangerous world.
With no one to turn to,
As they judge you as nothing but a girl.
You start to see things that you didnâ€™t think were there.
Not one person around to hold you at youâ€™re weakest,
Or show you that they care.
No inspirations that help to keep you moving on.
You only have yourself but you feel like you donâ€™t belong.
You see the ignorance through all the peopleâ€™s eyes.
The fakeness they carry within, that later affects your life.
You also see the damage that people carelessly make.
You see the racism spreading, each day harder to take.
You see the violence, hearing about all those deaths.
Somewhat makes you want to fight it.
But is it worth it if it will never end?
It hurts to wake up in the morning to smell the loneliness.
Sometimes I wonder how I got mixed up in all this mess.
Itâ€™s even harder to close your eyes and try to go to sleep.
When all you do is toss and turn,
As the pain runs from your head to your feetâ€¦