Not fooled**

by midnight♥lullibys   Sep 17, 2005


Wow your really good
for a while, you had me fooled
thinking maybe you could be trusted
but you've just been overruled

maybe at one time
i trusted you to the fullest
but sorry, cant say i do no more
I've seen you at your cruelest

you know, you are very tricky
good and skilled at what you do
lying, cheating, and deceiving
only thing I've got from you

what a great thing to have to grow up around
all these wonderful ways
to make one feel tied and bound

take a second and look around
does it look like its working?
does it look like we believe you?
do you feel yourself shrinking?

because we aren't fooled
by your fun little games
we don't feel like being played
or putting up with these charades

I'm guessing now you kinda of feel
just a little scared
like your whole world is caving in?
maybe they never really cared?

well shut your mouth, just stop
before you ask for sympathy
because thats exactly how i feel
from all your mischievery

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Jesse James

    This poem reminds me of my mom...
    I like it 5/5.
    JJx

  • 18 years ago

    by ☆Vintage Butterfly Star☆

    I like the way you've got straight to the point...

    wow, you're really good
    for a while, you had me fooled

    You don't take ages to get to get into your reason behind the poem.

    xxx cici xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by NannO

    Wow.. that was gud.. u seemed pretty heated up about that someone, whoever it was, and ur poetry sounded gud ther.. ur rhyming was also gud..
    plz keep on writing
    take care

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "Wow your really good"
    should be "you're" not "your"

    "what a great thing to have to grow up around
    all these wonderful ways
    to make one feel tied and bound"
    this stanza only seems to have 3 lines, while the rest have 4. is there a missing line somewhere?

    Okay, so you stuck to a consistent rhyme scheme of ABCB, which is a pretty good one because it allows for some variation and breaking up of the rhyme. In some cases, however, I think your rhymes negatively influenced the flow of the poem, which is to say they didn't provide any new thought and they sometimes involved convoluted sentence structures. That means that sometimes the last line of each stanza sort of repeats what has already been said, but only slightly changes it. This is a common problem with poems that rhyme, because when you're trying to make a rhyme, you think less about the message of your poem and more about just finishing your rhyme. Maybe if you put a bit more time into some of the last lines, they would carry meaning themselves. One last line that I thought was a good one was the very last line of the poem, because it carries within itself a meaning that wasn't already mentioned in the stanza it belongs to.

  • 18 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    It thought it was very good, very good flow give it a 5

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