Trap-Door Veil

I envision myself in your eyes -
the translucent membrane,
acting as a buffer
between my thoughts
and outward emotions
being stripped away,
peeled apart
like skin from the bone
under your gaze

a
delicately woven
defense-mechanism
that i wrap up and around myself,
to separate thought from feeling,
and comfort this blood-loss,
as a tourniquette,
while im exposed
and bleeding.

my only problem is
i cant truly see myself
as you would
and fail to find
a distinguishing pattern
that will lead me to see
myself inside of you
with my eyelids
as distant as
our likeness

inside this delusion
riddled with chaotic
and unreasoned paranoias
truth isn't
a matter
of discerning black and white
but rather,
interpreting the changes
and subtle inconsistencies
to suit my exposed self
and exploit my
insecurities.

i envision you, through
these expecting eyes
as a simplistic clarity
reveals itself.
a mirror image
of what could possibly be myself
still threatens to
take form
as you
sway in imagination

when a
concept of perfection
blossoms within our minds,
or blooms before our eyes,
a standard is seemingly set
and therefore
our walls are brought up
and over our heads
while we lack the height
to stand tall
and rise above
this
trap-door veil
so easily fallen into.