If you ever looked at me

If you ever looked at me
would you actually see
the tears running down my cheeks
as i pretend that i am happy
if you ever looked at me
would you care
that i want to die
because no one will ever be there
if you ever looked at me
would you try to help
the fact that i am not happy
and i hurt my self
if you ever looked at me
would you say you understand
the fact that i am all this
that i am who i am
if you ever looked at me
would you run and never come back
just because the blood runs from my wrists
cuz its him i lack
if you ever looked at me
what would you do
would you just toss me out
like an old worn out shoe
if you ever looked at me
would you see through to the pain
that i can never be happy
and i live my life in shame
if you ever looked at me
would you laugh and walk away
never even bother
just go with what your friend say
if you ever looked at me
would you see the scar
from where he ripped my heart out
leaving me to think i cant live any more
if you ever looked at me
would you think i am truly happy
would you think my smile is real
if you ever looked at me...