My Sacrifice

by Cuddles   Nov 14, 2005


I don't want to, but I have to give you up.
I've always known you were never mine to keep.
It hurts so much like an actual physical pain so that I double over and began to weep.
You have always been my world,
and I'm not sure how I can let you go.
I can't even begin to explain how much you mean to me, but it's more than anyone could ever know.
Yet they tell me I must give you up, but I know now that I can never do that.
I'm not afraid of you loving another girl, but I know that when she gets you she won't want to let you come back.
Slowly but surely I'm dying inside,and no amount of medical treatment could ever suffice.
You are the only thing that can save me, but fate has so coldly and maliciously named you my sacrifice.

(c) Mary Barren

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  • 18 years ago

    by Void

    Hey, that's really good. The rhyme scheme was really different, not quite with a good rhythm to it (too many syllables to be read), but because of its unique quality, rather than deducting a mark, I'm happy giving you the 5/5 that is deserved - the 4.0 that you have now just doesn't seem to make sense to me. Especially with the last sentence, I really loved the ending to that poem, it was excellent. Great job!

  • 18 years ago

    by myshiningstar14

    Good poem loove it please read soem more of my poems for instance you might liek Your Beauty, I love you, Your Body- My Winter wonderland, Suicidal Romance and Sw33t Misery! Oh and no ones read Grace healed eyes either lol..well have funn. xxLISSa

  • 18 years ago

    by myshiningstar14

    I love the last 2 lines it brings it all together.....amazing! keep it up. xoxLISSAxox

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