Healthy

by Truest Lies   Nov 17, 2005


Cold drops splash on my nose,
And others run through my loose hair,
But I flick my head impatiently,
And with a display of strength,
Like a lively colt,
I take off running at an amazing speed.

The sand of the beach reaches up to greet my bare feet,
As I rush towards the sea,
But the tiny, moist grains,
Hardly slow me.

Every muscle in my body,
Is developed and healthy,
Every tooth in my mouth,
Shows no sign of civilization,
No spots of decay,
Like they did in those dreary days.

The tendons in my feet,
Once so worn by bad diet and concrete sidewalks,
Now spring lively,
Carrying me closer to the sea.

Not even short of breath,
No pain in my once weak lungs,
I lunge forward and don't even gasp,
As the freezing, frothy water reaches me.

I dive under and about the waves,
Like a dolphin,
Or a fish,
Not afraid of life anymore,
Savoring the water's icy kiss.

Finally I climb ashore again,
No more tired than before,
Never to feel the modern societies pains no more,
For I'll never ever be trapped by bad health again.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Excellent write! The descriptions and the images in this poem were fantastic. The flow was consistent through out and I could really picture your words. This poem told itself and that is one of the most important things about a good poem. Now because I think this is such a good poem it's important I give you the best advise as possible. The final two lines don't keep up the high standards of the rest of the poem. Maybe re wording them would help. Just taking the "no more" from the first line and the "ever" form the second will make a lot of difference. Also, this is totally up to you but the first line of the second stanza is much longer than everything else so maybe to keep in tone with the rest of the poem that could be split into two lines. Very well written, keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by Megadrive

    That was really good! I love the topic you chose it was great!

  • 18 years ago

    by Mona

    Wow. You are a very talented writer. Amazing. Very very very good. Also thanks for you comment, it means a lot to me.

  • 18 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Absolutly amazing

  • 18 years ago

    by Dreams

    Great display of words here. Your descriptions are always amazing. I can picture the whole scene playing like a film before me. It's a smooth transition from relating health to life. Interesting poem. I like this very much. Thanks for sharing. =)

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